Friday, February 26, 2010

in business!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

end of a reading era.

soooooooooooooooooo, i FINALLY finished reading twilight. the last book i had to slog through a bit at the end there. i can't say i'm the biggest fan of how it ended, but i won't say more.. don't want to spoil the ending. it was entertaining. and now that i'm done i won't have anymore vampire/werewolf nightmares. phew. i'm tiring of waking up sweaty every morning.

in business news.. i ordered business cards today! yay! but they'll come in 3 weeks because that was cheapest, so that's kind of anti-climactic. it gives me time to get my stuff together though. not that there's much to get together. i'm kind of nervous, i don't know why. i feel like i should get a business license and all that.. but perhaps that can wait until i see if the stuff sells or not. clearly i'm not all that business-minded. wow, i just said business approximately a million times in this paragraph. that should count for something.

in other news.. not much going on. still in an insane, painful fitness routine. i love how every time you work your abs a lot you feel like you're constantly going to vomit for the next few days.

and.... SUNSHINE. glorious sunshine. how i wish i was outside right now.. oh wait, only 6 minutes of work left....

Thursday, February 11, 2010

book four... breaking dawn.

so i've been obsessively reading the twilight books despite my best intentions to not be a pop-culture groupie. but you know.. the first book i thought was terrible, and i couldn't stand bella.. but i slogged through, and you know, the books just keep getting better and better.
the only thing i really don't like about the books is that they have this way of taking over your whole life and it becomes hard to focus on anything else. that coupled with the relative "dark" nature of the books.. and life can get a bit overwhelming and depressing while you're reading them.. but somehow you can't stop.
and sad to say, but having these books to read gives me a reason to look forward to going to work because on my 4 closing shifts, life is pretty quiet in the school. only 754 pages to go..
i'm still struggling to find time and motivation to work on my art. i've been so tired lately. but it probably has to do with the sore throat and allergies i was dealing with this week. i took some benadryl the other night, and normally drowsiness-inducing medication has little affect on me.. not this time. i went to bed at 10 and woke up at 11:30, still feeling like i could sleep for a few more hours. alas, work had to be done.
i'm also still wondering what to do with my life. do i buy a car? a house? start an actual business? or just keep doing what i'm doing, save up some money and go traveling again. i realize that settling down is inevitable at some point in life.. but i still feel like i have a lot of ground to cover before i'm ready to do that. i don't know. perhaps i need to stop thinking about it so much, and just take each day as it comes. much easier said than done. and i welcome suggestions.. :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


i think i'm allergic to everything. i was hardly allergic to anything growing up and now i'm one big walking allergy. i woke up this morning sneezing, and my eyes were itchy, red, and puffed right out. i could hardly see anything. and my throat was itchy and felt like it was constricting. excellent. so as a result of my limited vision, i did not have a great morning. i spent most of my time lying on the couch with ice on my eyes. lovely.
when i got to work my co-worker told me i looked like had been doing some heavy drugs, i wish.. haha. and now i think i might be allergic to gluten because nothing i eat seems to agree with my stomach. i think i need to go on a week long water diet or something.

Monday, February 8, 2010

bonus post.

two in one day, i know.. the madness never ceases. i was reading an andy goldsworthy book on my break and i really identified with his intro about time, change, and place.

'Time and change are connected to place. Real change is best understood by staying in one place. When I travel, I see differences rather than change. I resent travelling south in early spring in case I am away from home when I see my first tree coming into leaf. If this happens, I see the leaves, but not the growth or change. I feel similarly about the first frost or ice or snow, and the first warm day after winter. I thrive on the disruption forced by seasonal changes - a hard freeze, heavy snow, a sudden thaw, leaf fall, strong winds - which can change dramatically any working patterns that have become established within a particular season.'
--Andy Goldsworthy, Time

Some of his work:

art and nature. perfect.

life in general

i went to edmonton this weekend for a job interview. it was at abercrombie and fitch which sort of feels like going against what i believe in, with regards to consumerism and brand names, etc. but i was asked to come in for an interview, so i thought what the heck, i'll keep my options open, considering there's not much else going on right now and my current contract is up at the end of april. the silver lining to this job is that after 6 or 7 months you can be promoted to manager and after you're a manager you're up for a transfer if you choose, so i could work in paris. ahhhh, a girl can dream.

on the business side of things i've been acquiring more and more supplies, now i need to acquire a bit of spare time and motivation. i'm not sure which is more difficult to come by. but getting out of red deer this weekend was really good for me, even though it was a bit of a chaotic and exhausting trip (i nearly lost the tire off my car.. it was a crazy day). i find being in a new place always stimulates creativity and expands your mind, you just have to hang on to it before it dissipates again.

oh and i bought a fish. i had a dream a few weeks ago about my wedding day. but i couldn't work out having a groom there for the big day, so i got all dressed up for nothing. so my friends took me to sea world to cheer me up and bought me some gold fish. ever since then i wanted a fish. odd, i know. does a fish make a good replacement boyfriend? that is the question.. haha.. at least he's quiet. i'm kidding! but he is.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

day two.

i've been thinking about death lately. i guess it started this weekend when i began having really vivid dreams again. i have vivid dreams quite often but they sort of come in spurts. the last few dreams have had mom in them, which i wish could be nice, but usually i wake up feeling depressed. i can't believe how hard it still is having lost her. not that i ever want to feel numb about it, but i guess the thing is that i do. i become complacent as a coping method, a way to move on. but then the moving on feels so hollow and empty. it's so hard to feel alive without her here. i know none of this is really related to my thoughts on the start of a new venture, but my mental state affects how i feel about life in general, and in turn, productivity, etc. people always say that you don't really know what you have until it's gone. but i did know what i had, that's probably why it still hurts so much. i'm sort of all over the place with this, i'm really still trying to process.

anyways, i have been reading the news lately about the two boys who died in their home. it's really hit me hard. i guess it makes you realize how fragile we really are. and that life never makes sense. it's hard knowing that you love someone so much, but you can't protect them. life happens all around us, constantly. but we pray, and keep believing that one day we won't have to worry about what doesn't make sense. at least God never changes, as hard as that is to grasp.

i made some more jewellry last night. i was feeling sick and kind of depressed (i always seem to when i'm really busy and then finally have a break from everything). so i read eclipse for a few hours (not sure if that helps with the depression.. the whole conflict of soul vs. no soul for love is pretty depressing.. and a bit ludicrous.. but that's bella for you.. i can't say i'm her biggest fan). anyways, yes, made some jewellry while watching my new favourite show modern family. hilarious. and heart-warming in its own odd sort of way.

ok enough for now. until next time...

and a picture, because colour is the spice of life.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

the start of something

i'm writing this to myself for now. mostly as a reminder of things to come. hope mainly. i hope to start my own business, something arty. i've chosen the name 'prairie dust' for my business because i thought it was somewhat whimisical in its reference to fairy dust, but also earthy and a reminder of my roots. i think choosing a name is half the battle.. so let's just say we're off and running.. for now. so far in my collection of prairie dust merchandise we have 2 8x10" paintings and a coil bracelet, and a necklace that i made for myself which i'm not particularly fond of. that seems somewhat wrong to say, but just because i don't like it doesn't mean someone else won't. it's up for discussion anyways.

so let's have some notes for our first meeting:
1. business name selected while doodling on an envelope during photography class last semester (i think that was it's birth..)
2. have started making jewellry in very limited spare time..
3. debating business cards. premature?